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Submitted on
August 3
Image Size
2.1 MB


154 (who?)
Blue Stars - Act 1 - Chapter 1 by rika-dono Blue Stars - Act 1 - Chapter 1 by rika-dono
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HONEYBUN101 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014
did she take AN ARROW TO THE KNEE
Kyubey-chan Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
This is pretty good! The story seems to be well thought of until now. Why is there no male character in the group though? No ships D:

I enjoyed this first part even though I cringed at some spelling/grammar mistake I came across. xD

If you ever feel like correcting them, here they are:

not soul -> no soul
bounty hunter -> bounty hunters
Here's the members: -> Here are the members:
for most of people -> for most people

Be careful! You often make your sentences too long, with too many comas! Try to split them in multiple sentences with link words instead. It makes it way more interesting to read. Please avoid abbreviations such as "yo" in comics like these, too. Use the right words instead! Trust me it'll pay off because for people like me this can be a turn off. All of this will make the experience of reading your comics way more interesting and pleasing for your readers! 
rika-dono Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Student General Artist
Well mistakes can't be helped, french and english are grammaticaly a lot different, switching to one or the other is still difficult for me even though I'm fluent. As for abbreviation, it's intended for the character to talk that way, since some of them have particular way of talking or moving.

And no male characters in the group because White is afraid of men, the only one she can handle is Fantom's father / Psycho's Husband because of some reason that will appear in the sequel if it hopefully continu X)

Thanks :)
Kyubey-chan Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I'm french myself and it's only a question of grammatical affinity. I don't have to try to memorize grammatical rules or the spelling of a word. Some others won't be able to even if they spend hours trying. For the abbreviation part I was only giving you a tip, since comics are still story telling. Feel free to do as you like, you're the author after all! : )

Oh, so White is afraid of men. You'll still incorporate bishies in the comic though...right? (\o3o)\ RIGHT!?
ekin4655 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I like it. Can't wait for more. :)
athenagodofwisdom Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014   General Artist
I defiantly want to see where it goes :)
Edo-chan94 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
it's really great! :)
i want more *3*
Spacergirl003 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awesome! First for me to know your characters! Love it!
TigerLilly9 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Student General Artist
wow super amazing!! can't wait to read more!!
Oli-Sweet Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
SUPER!! :happydance: + PLZ account  Please, continue it
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