2017 Redlines Commissions - 2

for
Redlines - Points CommissionsI'm bored during my lunchbreaks, so ... why not ?
Also, I use those points for my contests

What are Redlines ?

example :  or 
It's simple : giving tips and advice on a drawing to help you improve with my own knowledge.
Do : 
Humans Only ( Kemonos, mermaid are ok, other species might not be within my abilities but you can still propose and I'll see )
Don't : 
- Animals
-Furries
-Monsters
How to get a slot :
- Comment below with the drawing you'd like me to give you "redlines" about. 
Keep in mind I'll probably need the file in it's original size.
- Give me information about what is bugging you or an aspect you'd like me to focus on, if there is such.
- A quick resume of what you intended/ aimed for with this drawing ( an atmosphere, a feeling, what you wanted it to look like if not achieved : cool, cozy ... )
SLOTS
Slot


Let's start with a tip, Mirror the image to find flaws you would not have seen 'cause you got "used" to the normal view. I don't know if you know this tip, but it helps me a lot when I can't get the face as I want it to be

I can tell you drew the clothes and the body at the same time. Very expericienced artists can do this and yet end up with anatomy problems so I definitely don't recommend it at your level yet. Simply because the lines that affect the clothing are imposed by the anatomy under it.

You told me that  "her personality: friendly, optimistic, kind, and eager. She just became a princess and is trying to tackle it head on, but she was raised a peasant so it's not an easy transition." I imagined her working in the fields but she's still a preteen so I made her shoulder a tad broader than her hips, sort of like a gymnast.
What actually made that you couldn't get her face right was her cheeks, they stick too much out of the head, so you had to adjust the nose and mouth to it, which made her whole face slide to the side.
The arms were too short, there is "rule" that's used so much it became a rule ( dunno if that makes sense but it does in my head x) ) : Shoulder/collarbones , Elbow/waist, wrist/crotch, tip of middle finger/ mid-lap.

When it comes to the curve of the body ( the backbone ), you had it very stiff and straight, which took mouvements and dynamism away.

I drew the body under the clothes of your drawing, you see the main flaw in drawing clothes and body at once. I could not connect upper and lower body, you'll also see how much the cheeks sticks out. Aside this and the arms lenght, the rest of the body proportions are alright, you're going the good way, I actually don't know how, but you got the legs proportions very good, you even had the gap mouth/cheek right ! Just makes sure the feet on the back is tinier than the front one for perspective sake

I listed a few preteen anatomy "signatures" that I use, they're mostly Anime characteristic.

On the right I drew a "bonus", I think your main study subject should be anatomy for now, creases on the clothes are affected by the body perspective, it'll also tell you what part of the clothes can be seen or not.
Do you maybe have a puppet ? Like a Barbie or drawing models ? If yes, put them standing in front of you, with NO perspective ( that's important ! ) and draw straight horizontals and verticales lines on it, like a grid. 
That way when you put the puppet in walking position, you'll see which lines to follow for things like high tights, off shoulders shirts, corsets ... ect, works for all kind of clothes !

Well, that's it x)
All I have to say for the hair is put a lil relief/dephs to it. I hope this was helpful, I might have insisted to much on drawing body first then clothes but that's because, I lost so much time doing that few years ago when I tough I was buying time that I don't want other people to do this mistake.
'cause It was a HUGE lost of time, I did not improve anything at all and stagnated a lot back then ><

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Where to find me :


Facebook : www.facebook.com/RikaDonoOffic… for wips as usual
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